Tuesday, March 2, 2010
WARNING: SELF REFLECTION
Skip this blog if you are put off.
This week started off horribly. One setback after another, one bout of anger after another, the feeling of hopelessness, despair engulfed my entire being at random times. My results were totally not up to my standards but I won't cry. I don't deserve to.
Seeing you down in the dumps, silently suffering pains me. But what can I do? You distant yourself from me, it was so sudden, or maybe at least to me. I didn't know what was going on, the extent of your feelings until someone told me. At that time, I felt that I really failed as your friend. For not standing beside you when you were upset, for not seeing the signs and for not being the one you can confide in. I cannot change your life, I cannot miraculously make everything in your life awesome, but I could had offered you comfort.
You were always trying so hard at everything, people gave you shit, you endured it and moved on. You always think for others, putting your happiness second. I admired and like that trait in you. I want to be your friend, to lend you my ear and a shoulder for you to lean on. I thought I did. How fucking egoistic can I get? People are always telling me to tone down on the egoism, and I thought heck to it. I will now. Right now, I cannot be the one you trust in, but I swear I will not give up. Not giving up when it comes to friends, I learnt that from you.
Thank you everything.
Posted by Hikari at 7:50 PM